I’ve seen a trend in a number of social situations over the past several months. It is nothing new. It has been happening likely for over 2000 years. But it seems to have been growing in popularity in recent times and the sheer concentration I’ve seen it happening lately compels me to speak. For lack of any better terminology, we’ll call it “That’s Not What Jesus Would Do Shaming.” It’s when someone attempts to call someone to repentance as lovingly and gracefully as they know how, and then the person being called to repentance or a third party exclaims, “That’s not what Jesus would do! You are so hateful.” While the TNWJWD slogan isn’t as catchy as WWJD, it has far surpassed it in longevity and intensity. They go on saying, “Jesus would love people unconditionally. He would not criticize what they are doing and He would simply be their friend and not try to change them” (or something to the same effect).
What is annoying (and untruthful) about this is that loving people unconditionally doesn’t mean the same thing as allowing them to harm themselves and others. Pointing a person towards Scriptural truth is not equivalent to criticizing (at least not the destructive kind). And being someone’s friend doesn’t mean turning a blind eye while they involve themselves in things that hurt their relationship with their Lord and Savior.
It is true that Jesus is complete and unconditional love and that He embodied that while He lived on this earth. It is not true that when He encountered people He knew to be sinning, that His unconditional love left them in that state. It is true that Jesus does not have a critical nature. It is not true that He restrained Himself from correcting others. It is true that Jesus was a friend of all, even earning the reputation “friend of sinners.” It is not true that His friendship was to make others feel OK just as they are.
In fact, I don’t find a single instance in Scripture where Jesus encountered a sinner, (be they a prostitute, a Pharisee, or anything in-between) and did not call them to repentance. Beyond that, refraining from doing so would have been an act of hate, not love. He certainly loved each of them unconditionally. He absolutely was their friend. And equally certain…He called every one of them to repent…to turn away from their sin and toward Him.
Some of those He encountered accepted this readily. They gave up their sin and embraced Jesus whole-heartedly (see John 4 and Luke 19 for just a couple examples). Some of those He encountered were not as ready to accept Him (see Mark 10). And yet Jesus didn’t go begging after the rich young ruler who loved his stuff more than Jesus Himself. He called him to repent just like everyone else. And when the young ruler made his decision, Jesus moved on.
I know in saying these things, a lot of walls go up. I can feel the defense mechanisms kicking in from here. We protect ourselves like that. But the truth is that Jesus DIDN’T just walk around to be cool with everyone. He had a mission. And when He left this earth, we were called to carry that mission onward. I like to use, “Be a witness” as a salutation because that’s exactly what we are called to do…be a witness (testify to, share, demonstrate) to the life, teaching, and message of Jesus Christ. And that includes having some difficult conversations with our…get this…friends…those we know, love, and care about.
That means the next time I or someone around me is called to repentance, I need to stop and think about what is motivating this person, is it truth according to God’s Word, and how much they have to love me that they are taking the risk of having that kind of difficult conversation with me. And maybe it wasn’t done with the perfect care of Jesus. Can I accept that no one can be exactly like Jesus (perfect) until He returns and makes us so? There is a difference between something done in love and something done out of jealousy or hate. Usually it’s not very difficult to tell one from the other. But we can’t see that if we aren’t willing to look.
The truth is we will have to hear things that are not so easy for us to hear. In Mark chapter 8, the disciples were hearing some things that were definitely not easy for them to hear. Jesus was telling them about how He was to suffer and die. They didn’t like that. It rubbed their sensibilities about the person of Jesus the wrong way. And when Peter spoke up and rebuked (TNWJWD shamed) Jesus for saying these things because that didn’t seem like something Jesus would do, here’s what Jesus said to him; “Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man” (Mark 8:33, ESV).
It’s not easy trying to help someone and doing your best to do it with grace and knowing that you’ll likely lose your friend in the process. It hurts. It is painful enough that I have to admit that I’ve shrunk from doing it at the expense of being a witness. I wonder if Jesus ever felt that way. I know how I need to respond the next time I’d rather be upset at someone’s method.
Be a witness,
Nate